CHAPTER 1
A Different Plan, a Deeper Peace
Good morning everyone. I'm so happy to be up here today and to see so many of my favorite people. Thank you to everyone who came to support me. It means everything to me and I love you guys all so much. If any of you guys know me, you probably know that I wanted nothing more than to go to Europe on my mission. Ever since I visited Europe with my brother a couple of summers ago, I completely fell in love with it.
I loved everything about it. So when it came time to start my mission papers, I dreamed about getting called there and serving the Lord in such a beautiful place. So of course, every night I prayed to Heavenly Father and I would ask him to send me there. And I was convinced my plan was going to work perfectly, until my brother had to shatter my dreams by saying, "If you get called to Ohio I'll come back to church." And ever since that day, I knew exactly where I was getting called to.
And then fast forward to April, I finally got my call and when I was opening it, I could barely contain myself. I was so ready to see what amazing place in Europe that the Lord was sending me to. And then I read Ohio. And I just started laughing. I couldn't believe I had actually gotten called there. But to my surprise, I didn't feel the disappointment that I thought I was going to feel.
Getting called stateside, let alone Ohio. I actually felt peace. Nothing had ever felt more right. And it was a feeling I couldn't really explain. Looking back, I think I understand that feeling a little bit better now. I wanted the Lord to take me to the place that I thought was right for me. But he knew exactly where I needed to go.
CHAPTER 2
Trusting the Good Shepherd
And that experience is a small example of what it means to let the Lord be our shepherd. A shepherd doesn't lead a sheep where they want to go. He leads them to where they need to go. The sheep may not always understand why they are being taken down one path instead of another. But they trust their shepherd because they know that he can see what they can't.
In Psalm 23 verse 1, David says, "The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want." I think sometimes that we hear the scripture and we think about the Lord simply just taking care of us. But I think it also means trusting him enough to follow him, even when he leads us somewhere we never planned to go.
CHAPTER 3
Spiritual Landmarks
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf talks about an experiment where people were asked to walk in a straight line without anything around them to help them know where they were going. People thought they were walking in a straight line, but when they looked at the GPS, they realized they had actually been walking in circles. I think that sometimes we can do the same thing spiritually.
We can feel like we're going in the right direction, but without spiritual landmarks we can slowly start to drift without even realizing it. And that's why I'm so grateful that we have the Lord as our shepherd. We don't have to figure out the entire path by ourselves. He can guide us. We just have to stay close enough to him and follow the spiritual landmarks he's given us.
These landmarks can be simple things, just like going to church every week, praying every day, studying the scriptures, going to the temple, and taking time to reflect on our lives and make changes when we need to.
CHAPTER 4
Finding Peace in Small Habits
And when I look back at the beginning of this year, I can see how many of those little landmarks helped me. In January, I started experiencing a lot of anxiety, which was unusual for me because I'd never been an anxious person. Senior year brought on a lot of changes and I was constantly worried about the future. I hated not knowing what life after high school would look like.
And instead of turning to Heavenly Father for peace, I continued to overthink everything. I let my thoughts spiral and eventually felt pretty lost. But I started to fix things, the little things. Instead of staying up late on my phone every night, I started reading my scriptures. I started writing down everything I was grateful for that day. And I made sure I prayed on my knees before getting into bed.
I also started making weekly temple visits. And after that, everything started to change. I wasn't constantly afraid or sad anymore. And instead I felt peace. This was because I wasn't lost anymore. I was turning to the Lord and he was helping direct me.
CHAPTER 5
Prepared for the Unexpected
Then the next month on February 19th, I was snowboarding with my boyfriend Jared. We had already gone off a few ramps and I had been landing them successfully. So I started feeling really confident. I remember thinking the next time I go down, I'm just going to send it off this ramp. I get as fast as I can. And I started going really fast.
And then right as I went off the ramp, I just completely froze and I got so scared and I chickened out mid air. I ended up landing directly on my neck. At first it hurt really badly, but then I started to feel okay again. So we went down a few more times and I even went off another ramp. But later that night, the pain became really bad.
Probably the worst pain I had ever felt. The next day my mom took me to get an x-ray and they told us it would take a few hours to get the results back. So I went to work that night. I still remember this perfectly. Some of my friends had come to visit me and see how I was doing. And we were just talking in the lobby and then my mom walks in holding a brace.
And I just knew I remember thinking, no way I'm not wearing that. But then she told me that I had fractured my C7 vertebrae and I was going to have to wear the neck brace all day and all night for the next four to six weeks. Luckily, the good habits I had started building in January, reading my scriptures, praying, journaling and recognizing my blessings had become kind of like a spiritual buffer for me.
Even though I was facing this really difficult and unexpected trial, I was surprisingly happy and I still felt lots of peace. Looking back, I think the Lord allowed me to go through what I did in January because he was preparing me for what was coming in February. He knew that if I hadn't created those good habits and if I hadn't learned how to control my thoughts and stay positive, even when things were scary or uncertain, I wouldn't have been prepared enough to face this much bigger trial.
And looking back, I can see that the Lord is guiding me through both of these experiences. I didn't always understand where he was leading me, but he could see what I couldn't.
CHAPTER 6
The People Who Help Us Follow
And I've also learned that sometimes the Lord guides us through other people. There have been so many people in my life who have helped me strengthen my testimony and helped me get to where I am today. So before I conclude, I just want to say thank you to a few people who have had an especially big impact on me. Thank you, Mom, for always filling your house with joy and laughter and showing me what it means to be truly Christlike.
I'm so grateful I got the best mom in the world. Thank you, Dad, for always making me feel so special and never going a day without telling me you love me. I know I can always come to you for anything. I'm so grateful to have you as my dad. Thank you to all my siblings [unclear phrase]. And I love you guys all so much and I don't know where I'd be without you.
Thank you, Mia, for being like a sister to me my whole life and always being there for me no matter what. [Unclear phrase about the last 12 years] and I'm so grateful we've gotten to grow up together. And thank you, Jerry, for always making me laugh and always bringing me so much happiness. You brought me closer to Christ in so many ways and you're my best friend and I'm so grateful for you.
You guys have all had such an impact on my life and the decision to serve a mission. So thank you for that. I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
CHAPTER 7
I Know Who My Shepherd Is
And lastly, I just want to bear my testimony that I know this church is true. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and I know that He loves us each personally. I know that through Jesus Christ we don't have to walk through life alone. There will be times when we don't understand where we're going or why we're being asked to go through certain things.
But He's always going to be there to guide us. I know that Ohio is exactly where I'm meant to be and I'm so excited to serve the Savior and His children there. I don't know what these next 18 months will look like but I know who my shepherd is. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
